If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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