The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
bring money and cleavage
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize