Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
