So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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