I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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