I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
