i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
