i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
