he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
