omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
