That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm too high and old for this...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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