just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
