I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it because I queefed?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
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