Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
