you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
