No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
