Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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