Define "chronic" masturbator.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize