happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
