OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
