his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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