Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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