She announced her abortion via fbk
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
