just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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