whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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