He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
