East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
