I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
