I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
