I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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