You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
