Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
