its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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