why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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