you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
