You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
