You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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