What did we do last night that was yellow?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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