THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
