My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
