Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
