Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
