she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
