I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
