It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
