it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
