i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
