I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
