we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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