# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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