Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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