I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
