So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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