The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
