How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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