If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
