If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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