You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize