I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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