GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My vagina just clenched in fear
A bitchslap is in order.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
