i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
