My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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