im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
