Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
